ABBY: The niece is hiding her mother’s secret life | Lifestyles




DEAR ABBY by Abigail Van Buren


DEAR ABBY: My niece, “Amanda”, is 19 and is quite close to my daughter “Hayley”, who is 18. Since graduating from high school and during her freshman year in college, Amanda has left town to meet men. she meets online. Amanda shares her location with Hayley via Snapchat “in case something happens”. My niece does this without telling anyone (other than Hayley) and often uses my daughter as a cover for her parents.

These aren’t just dinner dates, but usually weekends away from home. Hayley always tells me when Amanda’s away. We are both concerned about his behavior because human trafficking is real. I tried to tell Amanda about it, but she insists she’s safe and knows what she’s doing. My question is, should I tell my sister (her mother) or not? They don’t really get along, and that will only make things worse. — FEAR FOR HER IN IDAHO

DEAR AFRAID: Amanda is playing with fire. If your daughter was walking on a ledge 20 stories above the sidewalk, thinking “she knows what she’s doing,” wouldn’t you want to be warned? His father should also be notified if he is in the photo. Someone needs to talk to this girl, who seems determined to put herself in danger.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 60 year old woman. Over the past 10 years, people have increasingly called me “Sir” in public. I hate that. I go to the salon to get my hair and eyebrows done and wear a girly outfit and shoes. I usually carry a handbag, but not always. I have an athletic build and often wear T-shirts (I taught physical education for 30 years). My answer is: “My name is ‘Susan'”.

Do you have any other suggestions? It is driving me crazy. It’s been going on too long. Today when it happened I was ready to make a purchase, but instead walked out of a furniture store because I was so offended. Their loss. — ANY SOUTHERN WOMAN

DEAR TO ALL WOMEN: You are handling these comments as skillfully as possible. The person who addresses you as the wrong sex should be rightly embarrassed when you reply that your name is Susan. Leaving a store rather than making an expensive purchase was also the right thing to do. You shouldn’t have to change your appearance if you don’t want to. You know who you are. Try handling comments with humor and see if that works better.

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DEAR ABBY: My aging father lives hundreds of miles from me. I try to call her every day, but I feel like my calls are not welcome. I’m the only person he has contact with other than his caregivers. Should I keep trying or give up? — DISCOURAGED GIRL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DAUGHTER: Don’t give up. Is this normal behavior on your father’s part? If not, he should be checked by his doctor to make sure he has not had a stroke or cognitive decline. It is very important that you know his health status and whether there have been other changes in his life that would explain his behavior. Visit him, if possible. I cannot stress this enough.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents can be found in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, and an $8 check or money order (US funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)

(EDITORS: If you have editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, [email protected])


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