Build an enviable career by controlling your sex drive, by Ayo Akerele –



“A prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.” — Proverbs 6:26.

Randy Nigerian business executive

This man was a senior executive of a company. Sadly, rather than using his wealth of experience in this position to mentor young people, he took the other route, by destroying the lives of so many young women. Though, he was happily married with children, he would still patronize prostitutes on a regular basis.

He was a thorn in the flesh of single ladies in the neighbourhood, luring scores of them into illicit sexual affairs for a very long period.

It got so bad that parents became emergency watchmen of their single ladies, always watching out for the preying eyes of this executive sex maniac.

This man would be driving to work on a Monday morning, and upon sighting any lady on the road, would quickly pack his car, run after the lady, and if care is not taken, you will find the lady right inside his car. Then it happened on this fateful day, after years of uncontrollable sexual adventure, he picked up this lady for a short adventure in a popular hotel in the city.

He was not the driver on this fateful day. His personal driver was the one who drove. He drove them to an hotel, at the order of his boss. His car was stuffed with a brief case containing loads of cash, and together, the three of them began the journey to one of the popular hotels in town. As the driver attempted to negotiate a particular steep bend, he lost control, flipping the car many times over in a crazy summersault. The car was a write-off. The lady came out unscathed. The driver came out unhurt. But the champion of women, was brought out unconscious. He was in severe pains.

The lady, who knew that her man friend had some heavy cash, went for the jugular, she went straight to the trunk of the car to remove the briefcase of cash, and together with the driver, bolted away. The big man was rushed to the hospital by passersby.

As is always the case, when a young child kills a rat, he will eat it alone, but when he kills a big whale, he will bring it home to his parents. The same wife he had abandoned now became the only beneficiary of a broken, battered, and finished man. The verdict was given by the doctor: the lady’s champion has become totally paralyzed. It was a sad story.

The company he worked for did all they could to help him medically, after several futile attempts, they had to let him go, “We are sorry, we cannot continue to hold on. We need to hire someone to replace you”. His appointment was summarily, terminated, throwing him totally out of emotional and mental balance. His health was gone; his job was gone; his money was gone. He now became the project the wife had to manage for years. He has learnt his lessons, but by paying a very heavy price.

If you don’t kill sexual immorality, it will eventually kill you

Sexual immorality is one of Satan’s most lethal weapons of mass destruction for humanity. Nothing drains a man of value like sexual immorality. Though all sins are bad, the bible singles out sexual immorality, and places it in another class.

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” — I Corinthians 6:18 NKJV.

Sexual immorality in this teaching refers to all forms of sexual pleasure outside the confines of a legal marriage between a male husband and a female wife. I have to include the male and female emphasis because of the current gender chaos in our world.

Types of sexual immorality

1. Adultery—where a married person is having sexual relationships with a single or married person outside of marriage.

2. Fornication—where an unmarried person is having sexual relationships with a single or married person.

3. Masturbation—where married or unmarried persons are having sexual pleasure from objects, toys, or by themselves.

4. Pornography—where married or unmarried persons are actively or passively watching pornographic images and movies on their laptops, phones, TVs or secretly in strip clubs or in club houses.

5. Sexual harassment—where married or unmarried persons are touching or grabbing sensitive parts of the bodies of someone else.

Causes of sexual immorality

1. Failing culture and collapsed value systems in our society: For the most part, the Nigerian society is presently rooted in bad values, culture of nakedness among young ladies, and the promotion of sex-laced music and media contents on social media, TV, and Radios, among others.

2. Sociological Factors: Growing rate of unemployment and financial crises in our society push ladies in particular into severe pressure to trade their bodies for just anything that can bring food to their tables. Poverty is one of the greatest triggers of sexual immorality.

3. Mental health challenges: Some mental health disorders like bipolar drive people into sexual addictions. Make sure you don’t mistake mental health causes for spiritual causes of sexual addiction. Seek clarifications from experienced people. Go to therapists and talk to experts.

4. Hormonal imbalances due to prolonged singlehood: For some cases, it’s been proven that prolonged singlehood can trigger hormonal imbalances in men and women that can lead to unusual sexual drives.

5. Demonic activities and influences: A lot of sexual addictions are the results of direct influences of demonic manipulations. A lot of men and women use voodoos and charms to manipulate their victims into sleeping with them. If you are rooted in Christ, no powers of the enemy will affect you.

Consequences of sexual immorality

One of the greatest attacks of the devil on the body of Christ is sexual immorality. It ought to be a walkover for the Ecclesia—the church—but unfortunately, it is not. To say the least, every Christian—and most especially, men and women who are interested in going far with God must conquer this monster—sexual immorality.

• Sexual immorality scatters families and ruins relationships.

• Sexual immoralities open the door to demonic affliction, destiny stagnation, poverty, sickness and diseases, and countless spiritual battles.

• Sexual immorality destroys integrity.

• Sexual immorality opens the door to various forms of sicknesses and illnesses.

• Sexual immorality halts the blessings of God on families, nations and churches.

• Sexual immorality opens the door to unknown occultic initiation

Biblical examples

1. Abraham and Hagar: God still blessed Abraham, but his product—Ishmael is the progenitor of the middle east nations today—all of whom are embroiled in wars and terrorism that have killed millions of people worldwide.

2. Reuben and Jacob’s wife: Because Reuben slept with his father’s wife, God stripped Reuben of his firstborn status and gave it to Judah, a decision that effectively robbed Reuben and his lineage of the blessings and honour of the firstborn in Israel.

3. David and Bathsheba: David lost so much. He was stripped of the honour of building the temple for God. Rebellion and crises broke out in his family, and God put the final icing on his cake, “the sword shall not depart from the house of David”. Till date, 3000 after, the sword has not departed from the nation of Israel. Israel has remained the most endangered tribe in the Middle East, fighting wars upon wars with Palestine and other nations.

4. Samson and Delilah: Samson ended up losing his throne, dying with the enemy in battle

How to overcome sexual immorality

But how did Joseph overcome his own sexual temptation? By the fear of God. Note: Joseph had no bible. How could a man who never spoke in tongues; never attended any church; never had the Holy Spirit living in him be so disciplined to overcome sexual temptations, and many of us, including Bishops and Apostles fall headlong into sexual immorality, given the slightest temptation?

Joseph’s life was deeply rooted in the fear of God. Potiphar’s wife was the sexual predator, who was out there to sacrifice Joseph’s great destiny on the altar of casual sex.

Casual sex will always produce casual destinies. I have never met anyone who wines and dines in sexual immorality and ends well. You must guide against trading your fortunes and glory for sexual immorality. Let’s look at the Joseph case study to understand what Joseph did to overcome the sexual temptation that was launched against his destiny in Genesis 39: 7-20.

Potiphar’s wife’s case is so relevant to this teaching. After much persuasion and pressure that Joseph never gave in to, she decided to use her last weapon. See Genesis 39 vs 12, “She grabbed the garment of Joseph”. This is very heavy statement. Don’t dare to rush through this last sentence. What do you think Potiphar’s wife wanted to do by grabbing Joseph’s garment? What was Joseph’s garment? Joseph’s garment stood for his cover. Your garment is what covers your nakedness. Recall that Joseph’s brothers also removed his garment. There is something about your cover that attracts the enemy. A lot of the men that have fallen into sexual immorality did so because the enemy succeeded in removing their garments (covers) before striking them. For some of you;

1. Your spouse, wife or husband, is the cover God has given you. Yet you despise that spouse so much, and now that your relationship is over, you don’t know that Satan has made you vulnerable. Nothing prevents sexual immorality like two people bound in unity and love.

2. Your church and pastor can be a cover: You don’t choose your church or your pastor. God is the chooser of pastors (Jeremiah 3:15). Some of you are in wrong churches. God knows that you need a pastor that should teach you how to pray, but you’re running after pastors teaching you how to be rich. God has seen that a major battle is coming into your life in another ten year’s time and has positioned that pastor in your life, but since you saw this powerful dresser on Facebook, who carries the grace to double your money, you have abandoned your faithful pastor for him. A young man told me that from the day he left his church, he began to sleep around with different women. Why? He left the man that had always held him accountable to a place where he was free to do whatever he desired to do.

3. Your spiritual life can also be a cover. The moment your prayer and word life crash, Satan will launch a sexual attack against you. Only babies trade spirituality for mundane things of life.

4. Sometimes, spiritual parents and mentors are covers, covering you with mentorship, guidance, and spiritual support. You must be careful to choose mentors that are following Christ, not mentors that are following money and personal ambition.

If Joseph had slept with Potiphar’s wife, he would never have become the prime minister in Egypt. You are listening to me and are twisting the grace message. You sleep with anything in skirt or anything in trouser because your pastor lied to you that whatever you do in your body has no effect on your relationship with God. You have just been sold a lie. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. The bible says: “Whosoever corrupts the temple of God, God will destroy.” — 1 Corinthians 3:17.

For some of us, we don’t sleep with anyone physically, but are addicted to pornography. You must repent before God and secondly, clean up your environment. Don’t seat before the TV, into the night, watching naked women, while you are praying to break free from that addiction. Remove that App from your phone that is feeding you with pornographic contents. Take responsibility for all the gates of your life, your ear gate and your eye gate. God is not going to come and put your body under control. The responsibility is yours! Paul said, “I keep my body under”, not God, please come and put my body under for me. You must take responsibility over your body and ensure that you don’t expose yourself to environments and activities that will lure you into sexual temptations. What God will give you is grace when you pray. But you must lean on his grace to take the right decisions.

Also, stop taking foolish chances, accommodating matured men and women in your homes for longer periods; offering to coach your neighbour’s daughter or son in private chambers; counselling single and married ladies in private places. Be reasonable and extremely cautious. Lastly, if you’re married, don’t hide your feelings or temptations from your spouses. Secrecy is the natural habitat of addiction.

Remember that:

“A prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.” — Proverbs 6:26.

. Dr. Akerele, a leadership and system development strategist and minister of the word, holds a doctorate degree in employee turnover and human capital development from the prestigious Edinburgh Business School, Edinburgh, Scotland. He is based in Canada and can be reached at: [email protected]

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