Changes in libido: what happens to your sex life when a baby is on the way?

Sex is probably what got you into all this, isn’t it?

In this case, it may come as a surprise that what you know about birds and bees is turned upside down for this phase of your life. But it’s not all gloomy – we’ve got the scoop you need on the next nine months of love to make sure it’s as fun and comfortable as possible.

Read: Has your libido disappeared with your bump? Here is help

Changes in libido

The same hormones that help your body grow cause many changes in the libido department. You are also going through physical and emotional changes. These can leave you in more of a mood than usual, or even a whole lot less. And it doesn’t matter.

“Hormones play an important role in sexuality – and are affected differently in every pregnant woman. In some the dial is turned up, in others down.”

“Bodily changes and sheer fatigue can also lead to a lack of interest in sex. This is all perfectly normal,” says Henny de Beer, Clinical Midwifery Specialist.

“Your feelings around sex during pregnancy may be erratic rather than erotic. You and your partner need to talk about it to ensure mutual understanding. Keeping a sense of humor and maintaining moments of togetherness can inspire you.”

Hot tips for trimesters

Of course, pregnancy can leave you feeling less than ever. But these hormones and other bodily changes can also give you more pleasure than ever before.

It’s not just your body that changes as pregnancy progresses — your sex drive (and hormones) fluctuate throughout. This means that each quarter brings unique challenges and excellent pros.

First trimester

“In the first weeks of pregnancy, sex may be the last thing on your mind,” says Dr. Elmari Craig, a board-certified sex therapist and psychotherapist.

“Pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness and fatigue are common during the first trimester. Although your baby is still a tiny little thing, her presence causes dramatic changes in your body. After all, breast tenderness, nausea and fatigue are real passion killers!”

But, as you sail towards the end of the trimester, you might feel sexier.

“During this trimester, estrogen and progesterone levels increase and contribute to a lower sex drive. Around week 10, these increased hormone levels will decrease. At this point, fatigue and nausea usually begin to improve, which can help cause an increase in libido, as energy levels begin to rise,” says Henny.

Read also : Sex and your pregnancy: What you need to know, trimester by trimester

Second trimester

Often referred to as the honeymoon phase of pregnancy, this trimester will make you feel great.

Henny says that increased vaginal lubrication and an oversensitive clitoris due to increased genital blood flow gives you extra pleasure now.

This, says Dr. Craig, is the scientific explanation for the “awesome pregnancy orgasm.” Her advice to dads is to take advantage of this passionate phase by planning a romantic getaway.

Third trimester

As you head towards your due date, you can expect another drop in libido. “Fatigue and the pressure of the extra weight probably contribute to this,” says Henny.

And if you feel like doing the deed, that growing belly may get in the way. “You will have to experiment with different positions to find the one that works best for you.”

“As your belly grows, the missionary position will become impractical. Similarly, a position where the woman is lying on her back is not advised in advanced pregnancy. The weight of the uterus compresses the inferior vena cava, minimizing blood (and oxygen flow) to the baby, which can also cause dizziness,” says Dr. Craig.

“Many couples prefer the ‘spoon’ position in late pregnancy, where both partners lie on their sides, with the man behind the woman, so her bump doesn’t get in the way.”

“You can experiment with different variations of rear, side-by-side, and seated entry positions. Don’t forget sensual or erotic massage, oral sex, and manual stimulation. These are wonderful alternatives to sexual penetration. With a little improvisation and an open mind, you can always have fun together.”

Must read: ‘Will the baby feel it?’: Eight sex questions every pregnant person has asked, answered

when you shouldn’t

Dr. Craig and Henny agree that sex during a healthy pregnancy is safe. If your pregnancy is high risk, however, your gynecologist may advise you to end the lovemaking – in which case you should listen.

“Bleeding in early pregnancy should be considered high risk and abstinence should be encouraged during this time. In a high risk pregnancy, when there are already risks such as a low placenta or even premature rupture of membranes , it is advisable not to engage in sexual intercourse as it can lead to bleeding or increase the risk of infection in case of placenta previa or premature rupture of membranes,” advises Henny.

Have a little fun!

Try to see this phase of your life as a way to cement the bonds of love and intimacy between you and your partner. Yes, it will be different, but it also means more opportunities to explore your desires and find new ways of doing things.

As with most things in a relationship, communication is key. Talk to each other about your wants and needs, be open about things, and see how you can take your relationship to new sensual heights.

Is it true?

Penetration will hurt the baby.

This is a big misconception. “The baby doesn’t know you’re having sex and is protected from damage by the amniotic sac and the muscles of the uterus,” says Henny.

Also, remember that the vagina is quite flexible and stretches during sex. For the same reasons, you also don’t have to worry about the future baby seeing or feeling anything, even if your man is well-endowed.

Orgasms can lead to miscarriage.

“Orgasms can cause the uterus to contract, but that’s different from labor contractions. If you have a normal pregnancy, orgasms with or without sex won’t increase your chances of a premature birth.”

“Semen contains a chemical that can soften the cervix and make childbirth easier, but intercourse does not induce labor. Although semen can help in the birthing process, it cannot start it. “, explains Dr. Craig.

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