HOUSE OF THE DRAGON EPISODE 9 RECAP BLOG: What’s warmer, the beast under the boards or the feet under the socks?


Giphy pictures.


What an incredible moment that everyone can enjoy, whether it’s Team Black or Team Green. Well everyone except the poor sons of bitches who got smashed to bits by the beast under the boards.

But as the old saying goes, you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, and you can’t have an awesome Thrones moment without murdering a bunch of innocent everyday people in King’s Landing.

So I’m going to say that Rhaenys dragon Meleys is the answer to my hypothetical question in the title of this blog, even though Alicent and the beautiful toots are still legit in my eyes just because she was willing to take so many dracarys for the dome if it meant saving his eldest son.

I’m also starting to feel bad for Alicent since she no longer has to have sex with Viserys’ breathing corpse but now has to deal with the clubfoot beating her club against her feet.

I won’t be ashamed because it could be a voidable offense in 2022 and I feel like I have a pretty good relationship with Jersey Jerry. But among all the George RR Martin bullshit, a dude who burned his family to death in order to get a clean look at the Queen’s feet as he rubs one is really screwed up stuff.

Giphy pictures.

My apologies also to Alicent but her boy Criston Cole is a hypocritical jerk (his word, not mine).

I will not use the C word for Arryk and Erryk. But I’m #done with these losers.

Identical twins with nearly identical names teaming up to do shit, that’s pretty weird. But watching them fail at what they do and one of them bail out the other is where I draw the line. I hope these two find themselves inside the flame or the belly of a dragon before the end of the next episode.

Then again, I guess not every brother can be as good as Aegon who said that to his brother when taking him to a brothel on his 13th birthday.

Between having the biggest dragon in the land, the sword skills, the ability to pull off an eye patch, and surviving as Aegon’s younger brother, Aemond will either be the coolest anti-hero ever. all time, either the most badass villain of all time, or both. And I can’t wait to hate him as much as I grudgingly respect him.

For more from last night’s episode as well as a look at what could be coming in the season finale, check out this week’s article Set of stools.

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