How To Increase Your Sex Drive During Pregnancy, If You Want It

Some pregnant women are extremely excited during their pregnancy. All that blood flowing to their inner core, increased lubrication, and sensitive nipples can definitely make for a fun time. For some others, however, not so much. If you’re in this camp, you might be wondering how to increase your libido during pregnancy, that is, if you want to.

Pregnant women are amazing. You might not feel like it and you might hate your waddling or your tendency to sweat like a congressman at a town hall meeting, but pregnant women are definitely superhuman. When you’re pregnant, you’re kind of the epitome of fertility. If it was ancient times, statues would be carved in your honor and you would be given the best cuts of meat and food. You create an entirely new life with little more than vitamins and Shake Shack burgers (although that might just be me). If you were fabulously rich and talented, you’d throw a party for yourself with all your famous friends in attendance, and you’d get a crown and mocktails, and everyone on Instagram would go “ooh” and “ahh” at the beaming beauty. you became during your pregnancy.

All pregnant women should feel as wonderful and radiant as Queen Bey, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes when you’re pregnant, you just feel like you’ve lost your moxie. So if you want to increase your libido during pregnancy, here’s what the experts have to say about it.

What is a “normal” libido during pregnancy?

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Remember: you don’t have to have sex during your pregnancy unless you want to. All in all, there’s no “normal” when it comes to sex drive during pregnancy, so do what’s right for you. However, if you do want to increase your libido, that’s fair enough. You only have a limited amount of time before 3 a.m. feedings and firehose nipples take all of your waking moments, and maybe you want to make the most of it (but, again, if you don’t, that’s also completely fine).

If you’re feeling frustrated with low libido, just know that it’s incredibly common among pregnant women. “Contrary to popular belief that a woman’s libido levels increase during pregnancy, there are also instances where women go through episodes of low libido levels,” says Dainis Graveris, certified sex educator and sex expert. relationships at SexualAlpha, at Romper. “During pregnancy, your hormones, body, energy levels and mood go through a whole host of changes. These changes will have a significant impact on your emotional and physical state, which, in turn, will affect your libido.

In terms of changes, where you are during your pregnancy can have an effect. “During the first trimester, there is a significant amount of pregnancy hormone (HCG) circulating,” Dr. Peace Nwegbo-Banks, MD, FACOG, OB-GYN, told Romper. “This leads to the common complaints of nausea, vomiting and breast tenderness that many women experience, as well as an increased libido.”

Curiously, this increase in hormones can also do the exact opposite. “A sudden spike in these hormones sends pregnant women into a whirlwind of emotions,” Graveris said. “Instead of feeling energized, most pregnant women feel drained and exhausted. Morning sickness, exhaustion, breast tenderness and other bodily changes are expected at this time, which makes women less interested in sex.

The same is true when you are nearing the end of your pregnancy. “Low libido is also common in the last three months of pregnancy or near the birth of your baby,” Graveris said. “Getting in the mood becomes a challenge due to rapid weight gain, body aches, swelling and exhaustion.” Really, there’s a broad spectrum, so just know that your libido, as well as your reaction to physical touch in general, can go up, down, or stay the same — and all of that is normal.

Answers to questions that keep you awake and stories you want to share with group chat.

How to increase libido during pregnancy

Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula for doing this, there’s no sure supplement to get your engines running, and most diet-related advice is junk food. The best thing you can do in this situation is to talk it over with your partner(s). “[It’s] It’s important that you tell your partner (if you have one) what’s going on,” sexual and relationship health therapist Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., of Sex With Dr. Jess told Romper. . “Why aren’t you in the mood?” Exhaustion? Nausea? They may assume the worst, so talking about how you feel is of paramount importance.”

O’Reilly repeats, “It’s important for you to know that you don’t have to have sex. Your relationship will survive a temporary sexual hiatus.” (Although pregnancy can sometimes feel like a dog.) However, there are a few tricks that can improve your mood, if you feel like trying to jump in the bag.

Try eroticism

O’Reilly begins with my favorite, erotic literature. Yes, those sexy books and podcasts with all kinds of hot dialogue and descriptions can be your key to turning you on. “Many women find that they react more strongly to stories than to visual cues,” she shares.

Use sex toys

O’Reilly’s next suggestion is one I haven’t thought of, and I’m ashamed to admit it. Treat yourself to the happy hands or the vibrator treatment first. “Your needs may have changed for both emotional and physical reasons — maybe you need to try a new position or stimulate a different area to turn yourself on,” says O’Reilly. “Pregnancy, like all times of transition, requires some degree of unlearning old habits and relearning new ones.”

be a little selfish

As another suggestion, O’Reilly says don’t be afraid to be a little demanding in the bedroom (with her consent, of course). Perhaps, for example, gently ask your partner to put you down. She notes that people with vulvas often feel excessive pressure to perform for their partner, even when they are heavily pregnant. “Damn that,” O’Reilly said. “Ask what you want to. You will need this skill once the child arrives, and it will pay off in and out of the bedroom.”

Find intimacy elsewhere

OK, so maybe sex is irrelevant for you right now – that doesn’t mean you have to lose all sense of romance and intimacy. “Intimacy is so much more than just having sex,” relationship therapist Rebecca Wong previously told Romper. “Often the things that matter most are the smaller moments of the day that you forget to focus on.” Turn your attention to flirting, surprise each other, enjoy the parties and just hang out with each other.

Don’t force

The ultimate advice when it comes to sex during pregnancy is to be kind to yourself. If your body isn’t in the mood for sex, don’t force yourself to. “Self-acceptance, honesty, and communication are key ingredients in dealing with low libido between couples at all stages of pregnancy,” Graveris said. “I can’t stress enough the importance of constantly communicating with your partner during this stage of your life as a couple to keep intimacy alive.”

Again, it is important to know that this is only one season in your life and it will pass. Even though it’s frustrating, remember that you are not alone. Talk to your partner about how you feel, and if you want to increase your libido, try some of these expert tips. But if they don’t seem to be doing the trick, fine! Your libido will eventually return, so don’t put any pressure on yourself. And remember – you are pregnant. Your comfort is what matters most.

Sources:

Dainis Graveris, Certified Sex Educator and Relationship Expert at SexualAlpha

Dr. Peace Nwegbo-Banks, MD, FACOG, OB-GYN

Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., Sexual and Relationship Health Therapist of Sex With Dr Jess

Rebecca Wong, relationship therapist

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