I’m a relationship expert – people think low libido is couples’ biggest problem, but it really is.
ALSO though we all hope for a happily ever after, couples are bound to encounter a rough patch or two throughout their time together.
Lack of intimacy is one of the biggest issues many married couples face, and as your healthy (and mind-blowing) sex life begins to dwindle, so does the connection you once had.
“One couple may initiate their need for intimacy more than the other — it could be holding hands in public or suggesting sex,” says Lucy Beresford, psychotherapist and author of Happy Relationships.
“But if connection offers are repeatedly rejected, it can cause serious damage.”
While a decrease in sexual desire is certainly a common problem, it’s not the most important thing, according to experts – and we should actually be looking at the little things we do every day.
“There is plenty of information on what constitutes the most common problems people face in their relationships, with arguments, money, infidelity, separation, boredom and sex usually appearing in the top 10” , Jenny Porter and Anna Cantwell, relationship counselors at Marriage Care told Fabulous.
“All of these very likely have a common thread, and it’s miscommunication.”
Once a couple loses the ability to talk to each other, they will inevitably start running into problems elsewhere in their relationship, experts warn, especially if it becomes a prolonged loss of connection.
Fortunately, however, you can prevent these issues from occurring by “prioritizing time and space to talk.”
“It’s something that for some has suffered from the pandemic,” Jenny and Anna explain.
“Although we spend more time with our partners, the reduction in contact with our friends, family and co-workers can leave us feeling like we have less to say to each other.
“More time at home together can also lead to more friction around household chores and childcare.
“Also, with more children, there may be fewer opportunities for alone time.
“If this disconnect develops, couples can feel lonely and isolated from their partner and that’s when problems can start to develop, or cracks that already existed can widen.”
Some couples think they communicate brilliantly, but they always end up arguing about the same thing.
Lucy, who is also a host and panelist, agrees that most couples fail to communicate properly and then fail to fix it.
She says: “Some couples think they communicate brilliantly, but they always end up arguing about the same thing. old wounds and unresolved conflicts”.
On top of that, the author says it’s common for married couples to develop “grooves” in their relationship.
These “grooves” make them feel confident and secure in their relationship, but they can be the very cause of tension or friction.
“Often one person will be the one who always cooks supper while the other is the one who always takes out the trash. But if one person ends up doing all the chores, it can lead to resentment,” says Lucy.
Meanwhile, ‘willful blindness’ can be just as troublesome, Lucy adding: ‘Not seeing that the socks on the floor won’t make their way to the laundry basket on their own, or the item left on the stairs will not on the top floor without help, can really cause tension.”
In other relationship news, a sexpert has revealed the biggest lies we’ve been told about sex – and no, ALL birth control is unreliable.
Plus, a sexpert has revealed the most common mistakes they ALWAYS see couples make in bed – so how guilty are YOU?
We recently revealed how often most people have sex and how to make sure you hit the mark.