My libido is gone, but my partner pushes me to sleep with him

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DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though my libido disappeared, my partner pushed me to have sex with him.

He says he needs sex and if I’m not in the mood I should make an effort for him. But I don’t want to force myself just to please him.

I am a 27 year old female and he is 28. We have been together for 18 months.

The reason I quit sex is because I’m very stressed at work and with family issues.

Instead of supporting me, my partner made me feel worse. I no longer feel an emotional connection, so I’m never in the mood to get intimate.

This led to arguments and we got stuck in a vicious circle. I wonder if I should leave him.

Contact the Dear Deidre team

Each issue receives a personal response from one of our trained advisors.

DEIDRE SAYS: Stress affects libido but, rather than being understanding, your partner has built up more pressure.

You should never feel pressured to have sex when you don’t want to.

If you want to save your relationship, you need to tell her how you feel. Explain that you need support, not pressure, to get your sex life and relationship back on track.

My Taking care of your relationship support pack should help.

But his lack of empathy, patience, and understanding are red flags, and it might be time to walk away.

Trained to orgasm quickly - now I can't last more than a few minutes

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