My wife wants to separate because I have no sexual desire

DEAR DEIDRE: My libido is completely gone and my wife says we better break up so she can date someone who wants to sleep with her.

I’m doing my best to fix this problem but I don’t know what I can do.


Now I don’t want sex at all – and that’s unusual, isn’t it?

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I am a 36 year old male and my wife is 33. She has always had a high libido while mine has been low.

But now I don’t want sex at all – and that’s unusual, isn’t it?

We’ve argued a lot lately and I feel stressed.

I saw a doctor who referred me to a consultant and he is trying to help me.

My wife told me to move into a nearby B&B so I could still see the kids.

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Now I understand from my daughter that “Mom has a new boyfriend”.

I am so angry. I just want her back.

DEIDRE SAYS: Stress and depression can sap libido, so speak to your GP again, who may be able to prescribe something to help.

It’s unwise for your wife to find someone else because of a lack of sex, especially if you’re trying to make things right.

Anyone can have a dry spell in their relationship, but maybe there’s something else going on for her and you missed the signs?

Keep talking to him, so you can judge if it’s over for good – and you can still have contact with the kids.

Find help from the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy (, 01455 883300).

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