Life as planned does not fly straight like an arrow, especially when it comes to relationships between spouses and unmarried partners. Too often, situations and other factors get in the way and cause the libido to head south. What are these factors, you may ask? Wll, read on…
Some people do a lot of things well when they’re stressed. Feeling sexy isn’t usually one of them. Stress at work, at home or in relationships can happen to anyone. Learning to manage it in a healthy way really helps. You can do a lot yourself, and a a counselor or doctor can also help you.
Problems with your partner are among the biggest libido killers. For women, feeling close is an important part of desire. For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights, miscommunication, feelings of betrayal, or other trust issues. If it’s hard to get back on track, contact a couples counsellor.
A drink can make you feel more open to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your libido. Being drunk can also discourage your partner. If you’re having trouble drinking less, get help.
too little sleep
If your sex drive is gone, maybe you’re not getting enough sleep. Do you go to bed too late or do you get up too early? Do you have a sleep problem like difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep apnea? Anything that ruins a good night’s sleep can ruin sex. Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleeping habits and if that doesn’t help, talk to your doctor.
You don’t lose your libido once you’re a parent. However, you waste time being close to children underfoot. Hire a babysitter to spend time being partners as well as parents. New baby? Try sex during baby showers siesta time.
Some drugs can lower desire. They include some of these types of drugs: antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, birth control pills (some studies show a link; some don’t), chemotherapy, anti-HIV drugs, finasteride
Changing medication or dosage can help, however, ask your doctor about this and never stop taking medication on your own. Also let your doctor know if your libido stops soon after you start taking a new medication.
Poor body image
Feeling sexy is easier if you like how you look. Work on accepting your body as it is today, even as you work to get in shape. Feeling good about yourself can get you in the mood. If your partner has low self-esteem, assure him that he is sexy.
When you are overweight or obese, desire often decreases. You may not like sex, you may not be able to act the way you want, or you may be held back by low self-esteem. Work on how you feel about yourself, with a advice if needed can make a big difference.
Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about their sexual performance, and this worry can drain their desire. Erectile dysfunction can be treated and couples can also work to prevent it from affecting their relationship.
Testosterone, otherwise known as the “T” hormone, fuels libido. As men age, their T levels may drop a little. Not everyone loses sex drive when this happens, but some do. Many other things – from relationships to weight – also affect a man’s libido and testosterone levels, so there’s no one answer for every man.
Being depressed can cut off the enjoyment of many things, including sex. It’s one of the many reasons to get help. If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if you have low libido, as some (but not all) depression medications lower libido. Also talk to your therapist.
For many women, libido decreases around menopause. This is partly due to symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex. But every woman is different, and it’s possible to have a great sex life after menopause by taking care of your relationship, your self-esteem, and your overall health.
Lack of closeness
Sex without feeling close can kill desire. Intimacy is more than sex. If your sex life is slowing down, try spending more non-sex time together, just the two of you. Talking, snuggling and exchanging massages. Find ways to express your love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your libido.