Stroke destroyed my partner’s life – and mine too, I want to leave

DEAR DEIDRE: I don’t want to be with my partner anymore since he suffered a stroke.

He was fun, sweet, kind and confident, but everything changed.


I feel trapped after his stroke ruined our lives

I’m 51 and my partner is 56. He doesn’t understand humor anymore, he doesn’t laugh at my jokes and doesn’t even understand them.

He can’t speak fluently, so we can’t discuss anything, let alone have the lively conversations we enjoy.

We haven’t had sex since his stroke last year.

If we break up he should go to sheltered accommodation and he is extremely unlikely to meet anyone else.

There’s no guarantee that I would either.

His stroke destroyed both of our lives, his more obviously, but mine too.

There is little chance that I will improve my life, but it would be at the expense of his happiness, such as it is.

Contact Deidre

Each issue receives a personal response, usually within 24 hours on weekdays.

I’m so emotionally torn right now and I feel so guilty even for putting those feelings aside.

But I really feel very trapped.

DEIDRE SAYS: You have been through a very trying time and I can understand that you wanted to feel emotionally free.

His stroke is just as upsetting for you as it is for him, which will put a strain on your relationship.

It is natural to be afraid of the consequences of his stroke, but he may recover even more.

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You need your own support before making life-changing decisions.

Get help from the Stroke Association ( 3033 100).

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