The best sex position for you, based on your love language – SheKnows
Life would be much sweeter if, during sex, you could reach your climax every time, right? But everyone wants to experience sex differently. And the sexual tastes you know will lead you to an orgasm can sometimes seem too nuanced to share with a partner – whether to state your preference for top positions only, or revealing a fantasy of being tied to your headboard that only singles to you.
Real talk, however: opening up to what makes you happy, especially your specific wants and needs, will only elevate the action. This is where the five languages of love come into play.
If you are not familiar with the idea of love languages and what it means for your sex life, the TL; DR is that they come from the book The five languages of love: how to express a sincere commitment to your partner by Gary Chapman. Chapman explains that there are five main ways to express love in relationships: affirming words, acts of service, receiving and giving gifts, quality time, and physical contact. The book has become a go-to guide for spotting how your partner displays and receives love, and for interpreting your own biases as well. While this theory is primarily a useful way to introduce the basics of communication in a relationship, knowing your love language can also help you give and receive sex in more meaningful ways.
If you don’t know your love language, this online quiz will help you discern your dominants. (Make sure that your partner’s language is also spoken, so that you can develop a consensual and satisfying sex experience for all parties.) Once you’ve discovered your love language and theirs, your next date will be. you may indulge in positions focused on your love tongue. , hopefully in a way that will increase the binge on your emotional and physical sweet spot. We’ll walk you through some ideas for sex positions below – and, just for the record, people with the love language of “physical touch” aren’t the only ones having fun here.
Words of Assertion: President
When it comes to fondling the flames of your love language, verbal affirmation during sex will blow your mind. So let us introduce you to the chair, an ideal position for G-spot stimulation and sexy chatter.
Have your partner sit on a chair or on the edge of the bed, with you sitting on top facing them. From there, you can drape your legs over theirs or bring your knees up to your chest, supporting your feet on the bed. Since words mean everything to you, this position allows your partner to put their mouth right next to your ear, so they can whisper all the extra dirty talk you crave.
Acts of service: Lotus
Anything your partner can do to ease the burden of responsibility counts as an act of service, and there are so many ways to play with this love language in the bedroom. Lotus is a position of MVP, especially in the “actions speak louder than words” discourse. To perform the lotus, the penetrating partner must sit with their legs crossed in applesauce, while you sit on top, with your legs wrapped around their waist. From there, you can share sweet kisses and passionate gazes as the penetrating partner digs into you – or develops a slow grinding motion, depending on the mood.
Your partner can say “Let me do this for you” by taking the reins and doing more work, or you can. This is why the position is so amazing, especially if your partner’s loving language is also acts of service, because you can turn off heavy work.
This language of love is not really a matter of materialism. Instead, the gifts are a sincere symbol centered on thoughtfulness and effort. And often a person who likes to receive also likes to give. If your love language is that of gifts, good old 69 is a flawless position because it is a position that involves a dose of love for both of you, you are your partner.
There are lots of ways to get creative during 69, but the basics are: Lay side by side with your partner, with your face close to their genitals, and vice versa. Then stimulate each other with hands, lips, tongue, toys, whatever different sensations you have at that moment. Want to take it a step further and introduce anal play? Just make sure you have some lube on hand and enjoy it.
Quality time: cozy spoon
If quality time is your language of love, you love to share moments of full and complete attention with your partner. Simply put, the facing spoon position is comfortable as hell and will satisfy your need to connect on a deeper level. In this position, each of you should lie on your side facing each other, and you can slightly open your legs to allow your partner to enter you. For twice the fun, there are all kinds of ways to incorporate fingers, toys, grinding, and more.
This position really means to be the together, embraced and circled in your partner’s arms. And spoon sex is not complicated. It’s long lasting, so you can do it for longer periods of time, uninterrupted in bed, 100% focused on each other without distraction.
Physical touch: grinding scissors
When you’re already a susceptible person, it’s no surprise that your ideal sex position involves even more skin-to-skin contact. While the words “grinding scissors” sound like a threat, it’s actually a fun and intimate position to become entangled in.
Lie on your back with your partner at right angles and facing you on the side. From there, place one of your legs between theirs and drape your other leg over their hips. This leaves their raised leg in the perfect position to be pressed against your vulva, giving you the ability to grind while they’re inside of you. The best part? In this position, you will be completely entwined with your partner from head to toe, with their weight supported on you. It also leaves your hands free to explore, in case you want to bring a vibrator or rub your clit, instead of grinding on their thigh.
Are you feeling inspired for your next sexual escapades? While the Five Love Languages may sound a bit woo-woo to some of us, the ultimate takeaway is to be present with your partner and articulate what will be best for you. With this simple formula, you will rarely be disappointed.