The naughty “19th hole” could rekindle libido
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I had a second honeymoon during the COVID lockdown, when friends and relatives were not coming to the house. We’re secret nudists when we’re alone, so it felt like a throwback to the good old days – before kids, family, and friends filled our house. I really enjoyed our renewed love life and our freedom!
But it seems to be over now. My wife is back in love with her golf clubs and golf buddies! I am back trying to catch up with my work in the company. She has also become a little arrogant, since I am no longer her only friend. Last night, after an early dinner, I complained that I missed her beautiful naked body around here. She laughed and said, “Come on with the program, honey! It’s time to socialize again!” She’s off on another golf date with her “buddies” – and not all of them are women.
The truth is, I don’t like golf. But I love sex, and sweetheart is hardly here for supper anymore. No suggestion?
– I miss my baby, Southdale
Dear disappeared: Playing golf with motorized carts is not a particularly strenuous sport, but hitting that ball gets your adrenaline pumping. How about organizing some seductions for the return of the club’s “Queen of Golf”? Picture this: the sun is setting, something delicious is on the barbecue, cold drinks brewed on ice, and sexy music playing. You join her in the shower when she comes home and take care of her from there. Hey, that’s a much better plan than sulking about your sport!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sitting down and relaxing is something my husband begs me to do. I’ve been cleaning nervously all the time since the pandemic. I got my shots early, but I still don’t go out anywhere. I prepare food for meals months in advance and put it in the freezer.
I can’t relax with the state the world is in. I have planted a large garden that covers the entire yard. I maintain it and water it every day, so I hope we have enough food, with climate change coming so fast! My husband calls my daily efforts “gardening for the apocalypse”.
I also make long afternoon to-do lists to make sure the house is clean and sanitized again, so no germs. I wear my double mask outside the house in the yard, in case someone walks by me gardening.
My husband thinks I have an anxiety problem. He wants me to talk to my doctor about seeing a shrink or taking medication. I don’t want to be zoned! There is nothing wrong with me except that I am a little nervous with everything that is going on in the world.
I still don’t want to leave my house for appointments, and I order groceries and prescriptions for delivery. I am much safer here!
Please tell my husband to leave me alone! He just makes me cry more than I already do.
– Do the best I can, Winnipeg
Dear Coping: Your husband has reason to be concerned. Your anxiety is high and manifests itself in multiple ways. You need to get help before you have large scale panic attacks.
You feel your responses – hiding around the house cleaning and obsessively gardening for fear of food shortages – are in tune with a world you perceive as threatening. But your reactions have gotten out of hand and your husband recognizes that a crisis is coming.
You need to connect with a counselor who specializes in anxiety and agoraphobia – the fear of leaving your home and out into the world.
Check out this website for a directory of local therapists who work with anxiety: wfp.to/thérapeute. You can start with a phone session, but you can also consider an online consultation. It’s time to reach out!
Please send questions and comments to [email protected] or Miss Lonelyhearts c / o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Miss Lonely Hearts
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