This sex position is perfect if you want to get closer to your partner

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Our goal is to please when it comes to writing about sex positions: we’ve given you glorious positions that reliably make women take off and new tweaks on old favorites.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we thought something heavy on the romance factor was in order. Enter the yab yum position, a bedroom trick that comes to us from tantric sex.

The origins of tantra are not easy to trace. It has been around for thousands of years and appears quite often in Tibetan Buddhist lineages. (Of course, Sting gave it new life decades ago when he explained how he and his wife Trudie practiced it for hours on end. hours.)

With tantric sex the yab yum position included – spiritual connection, synchronized breathing, deep eye contact and mindfulness are all important, said Devika Singh, tantric sex and relationship coach.

“Yab yum is often described as a ‘total embrace’ in some Tantric translations when we examine the Tibetan Buddhist deities depicted in this position,” Singh told HuffPost. “It’s cosmic because it’s intense you just have to look at this position in visualization yoga and artwork to generate this energy.”

Here is what it looks like:

Illustration by Isabella Carapella for the HuffPost

Here is a small view from the back:

Illustration by Isabella Carapella for the HuffPost

If the above position looks appealing, but a little difficult for two mere mortals to try out, try doing it sideways, said Diana Daffner, co-author of Tantric sex for busy couples.

“With a little bit of maneuvering, the man enters the woman, releasing himself with a small, sweet entry,” she said. “Then for the 10 minutes the couple can focus on synchronizing their energy with breathing and eye contact. “

All together, “It awakens an orgasmic flow that is physically pleasurable, that connects emotionally, and that is spiritually rewarding,” Daffner said.

To get the most out of yab yum, focus on eye contact and synchronized breathing with your partner, maybe even before you’re physically, Singh said. (After all, the closeness that yab yum brings can be appreciated without have sex.)

To practice, look yourself in the eye for five minutes several times a week while remaining silent. Check in to see how you feel, then try building it for up to 20 or 30 minutes, Singh said. (If you do it that long, you deserve a medal.)

To practice the work of the breath, Singh said to focus on taking deep breaths and exhales during self-pleasure and then incorporating it into coupled sex. (She has a helpful video on yogic breathing for beginners here.)

And there is no reason why same-sex couples cannot enjoy some of this Tantric goodness, even though the position is traditionally represented with male and female deities.

“Do the work of gaze and yogic breathing before to engage in yab yum, ”Singh said. “Any couple who want to try it out can experiment and see what works best for them when they choose who sits upstairs and who sits in the lotus position below. ”

So this is it. Now go do like Sting and be yummy, lovebirds.

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