What are ASMR sex sounds and can they improve your sex life?
Bring sensory play into the bedroom.
Whether conscious or not, the five senses play an inherent role in our sexual experiences. There is a certain way of adjusting our touch, smell, taste, hearing, and sight during sex that allows us to reach whatever pleasure zone we desire.
That said, it’s not always soft skin and the scent mixed with vanilla and sweat in the air. An unpleasant sensory experience can leave a bad taste in your mouth (pardon the pun), and sex is usually full of uncontrollable bodily variables. Sometimes sex seems awkward, seems funny (enter: the Queen) and smells a little sour – and that’s the unpredictable beauty of the human body, baby!
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Whether you’re going solo or embarking on an experience as a couple, it’s sometimes hard to get into that intimate, sensual vibe. And for vulva owners in particular, it can often seem impossible to reach an orgasm without full body relaxation.
As a relationship counselor and sex therapist Selina Nguyen explains, “There’s this myth that keeps coming up that our ability to feel turned on should be like a light switch, and that’s so far from the truth. It puts a lot of unnecessary and sometimes hurtful pressure on ourselves to act like the machines.”
In a constantly overstimulated world, it can be difficult to get your brain into the zone ready for pleasure. To trigger your sensual headspace, you can soothe yourself with a bath, connect to your body through yoga or Take it up a notch with erotic ear gas-inducing ASMR.
What are ASMR sex sounds?
According to a study conducted by a sex toy store Mega fun, is the question searched by approximately 3,320 Google users each month. You might know ASMR from the stranglehold it has on social media (thanks queen of whispers, Trisha Paytas). It’s a far-reaching umbrella, covering everything from sleepy sounds and relaxing rains to aggressive fingernail tapping and chewing noises (that’s a no on my part).
Simply put, ASMR results in an Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. The term refers to the emotional and physical sensation that some people get from certain “trigger” sounds. These are usually soft noises like whispers, quiet words, and light tapping; or crisp sounds like crackles and crackles. For some, they induce a sort of trance-like mental and physical state, coupled with feelings of relaxation and euphoria.
So that’s great, we don’t really know Why. As explained by a 2020 article in The conversation, “the research hasn’t quite matched public enthusiasm, with only a handful of journal articles on the subject.” My ill-informed guess is either a collective placebo effect or it really itchs the brain. In any case, it makes people excited!
But where does the sexy come from? As with any sexual preference, it’s totally subjective. “Sound in sexplay can be very diverse,” Selina tells me. “It could be voice, music, audio porn, or even just the natural sounds of sex and skin-to-skin contact. It’s so versatile and there’s so much room for creativity when playing with sound.
Audio eroticism versus visual eroticism
When I asked Selina why audio erotica (porn, ASMR, etc.) was having such a good time, she the answer was simple. “Sensory play forces you out of your head,” she explains. “It forces you to become aware of your whole body; and that in itself has been proven to increase pleasure, excitement and sensation.
And while visual cues (pornography, erotic art, IRL sexual experiences) can be extremely effective in getting you there, Selina says audio erotica can help expand your sexual horizons. “TThings like sensory play can help expand our imagination, which is intrinsically linked to things like increasing mindfulness and building our ability to fantasize,” she tells me.
“Visual porn requires some level of zoning, just like watching TV,” says Selina. Putting aside the myriad of porn industry issues for a minute, visual porn is generally just less inventive than its sensual counterparts. “Visual porn essentially gives you a full sexual experience in a neat little box, and in doing so, it allows your brain to shut down,” says Selina. “Audio porn and sensory play can be great for creating some diversity in our sexual repertoires. They invite you to experience; they can bring that new level of mindfulness.
Bring sensory play into the bedroom
According to the Mega Pleasure study, there are ten main sounds users look for when bringing ASMR into the bedroom: whispering, moaning, scratching, water droplets, choking and sucking, tickling, role playing, tapping and blow. If you are new to the world of audio erotica, you can start by researching some of these key terms. Everyone is different – you might find that squelching makes your skin crawl, but water droplets make your toes crawl.
Once you’ve established what you like, try using your new tools for masturbation or with a partner (if they’re into it and the sex is consensual, of course). There are also companies that do fabulous work centered around female pleasure in audio erotica. “People are turning to alternative forms of porn on an ethical basis,” Selina tells me. “Audio erotic companies like dipsea and quinn, which are both founded by women, do amazing work and create these avenues where people can have their pleasure without guilt.
Interested in a session with Selina? Find more information here.